I'm Growing Up...Damn!

Being an adult's gonna be hard. U gotta be more mature...u gotta take up responsibility...u gotta have a decent social image (i already have that...why not..).
Once u think of all the stuff you gotta do when u get old u realize..hell...im gonna die. U see...when u grow up u face a lot of shit. For instance u'll be called as Mr./Ms. or aunty /uncle (SONNOVA B****...!!)
As far as i can see,stuff starts getting crappy the moment u leave mommy and daddy's protection and start ur own life. No wait....stuff becomes bad the moment u feel mommy and daddy don't need to take ur decisions anymore. Now those of u reading this will definitely agree. Being a kid was gr8 man. no hassles..no namby pamby wishy washy nonsense about 'bad dressing sense' or 'unpopularity' or 'lousy looks' or anything of that sort that cud discriminate between who cud possibly be ur pals and who couldn't.
Now i remember that when i was a kid...stuff was all about bad grades and why i picked up a fight with the class bully rather than telling the teacher that he stole my food. It used to be a big deal when some clown used the 'f' word and no one used to talk to the freaky kid who used to lick his nose with his tongue all the time. I mean, if trivial stuff like that could be so enjoyably made a part of ur life then I'd rather remain a kid. I used to have ego problems with the brilliant whiz kids in class coz they took several seconds less than me solving a math problem. Those were the days when we actually dream t of getting the high nineties and enjoyed the dreams of becoming superheroes or starting a comic book. Back then, for several weeks, i still remember, i used to think over how me and my 'gang' was gonna invent a new way to park bicycles or start a radical new method of playing the flute or make a new kind of scheme to get better grades or even a nice extensively planned operation to freak out the girls of the class (that was fun man...) It was all about sports, fun , action movies and action packed animes of that time.
Nobody had the time to be jealous or lie about other folks or for some other weird drama. But things became different when we became older. started hiding things from our folks. I mean, we completely lost the entire meaning of having a decent time as a kid. Being popular meant wearing gr8 attractive clothes, roaming around with the best looking people in school, drinking just coz the most 'charming' son of a bitch in school did it, breaking institution rules, showing disrespect just for the kicks, getting into some drama coz its the in thing, getting into a relationship just coz some cheap asswipe said u shud at that age etc etc.
Now I'm not starting about it coz i had a troubled time back in school. That was something every baboon (both male and female) had to go thru. I'm mentioning it coz i have the time to think about it all coz right now (fortunately) I'm not a part of some social circle where u waste time dwelling over rubbish that doesn't effin matter! Now everybody's so screwed up as it is (except the nerds who made it well in life and have all the time to enjoy now). Imagine. In a couple of yrs u change so bloody much. Whats gonna happen when u get more freedom and allow urself to get manipulated by the company u have. That is one reason i try to be familiar with as less girls as possible. It makes things complicated and i don't really have the 'emotional capacity' to handle as much stuff as other peeps my age do.
I prefer being a dork or a 'loser' to being called a 'cool dood' coz i hate doing their stuff. I like computer games and sports and picnics and kiddish 'missions' and stuff. I don't like late night partying and boozing and breaking ur head and doing all the stuff ur momma told u not do (ok...so i did a few things i was forbidden..but they aren't a habit are they?)
I'm a 17 yrs old still behaving like a 7 yr old kid. When i say ' go to hell' i dont really mean it a couple of seconds later.I don't get into discussions about how some bitch got trashed by some guy and is now crying about it. If i don't care....its because its not my problem. I'd feel sorry for sad people if the reasons they were sad for were valid. I can't hold grudges against anyone for over an hour. And i definitely cant handle my social life any better than i cud when i was 7. The most brilliant part of it all is that i LIKE being so. I love to rip on people all the time...they get offended..not my problem. My closest friends don't mind. Thats all that i need to know to carry on living and laughing the way i do.
I remember ripping on this 'young couple' getting all cozy one evening when i was jogging at the park with me dad and sis. I guess his girlfriend must have ditched him an hour later after i was done with them. I don't care...they deserved the unpleasantness. I don't have orthodox ideals. I just have a more evolved sense of morality. I don't give a shit as to what they do when they're alone. But i do care about what my sister sees or what kind of discomfort it causes to a simple family discussion going on somewhere near. Maybe I'm a hard ass dawg who has some very experimental ideals that you'd probably find in small children who think on the same lines as i do.
I remember once talking among a bunch of my moms 'friends' one day (entertaining them on mom's orders...urgh!). I got sick after a while listening to their bitching about other 'aunties'. I pointed it out then and there. They looked a little offended and reprimanded me by talking about how immature i was and that this was an important thing that they do. I was like..important my big black ass...I have shit looking pipsqueak females sitting in front of me trying to look 14 when they are 40 talking about how another bitch and a half got herself screwed up some how along with some bastard i dont even know...If doing that is important then i gotta go to another planet. If growing up means doing that kinda shit im gonna kill myself on graduation day man!
It all comes down to this. Since i'm SO immature and SO unable to take things as they come and SO trying to change stuff around me, i think growing up is the hardest thing I'll ever go thru. I its one of those weaknesses everybody has. i mean. Most weaknesses are temptation or desires or some illness that could be hampering ur chances of survival. But this is one weakness with repercussions so unpredictable that one day I'm gonna be shocked beyond my wildest dreams (hope its something good). They say every human being has been made different by god to serve a particular purpose. Perhaps my habit of saying stuff as i see and hear has some worthy implementation somewhere in the betterment of this world. Till then...i'll still live in fear of growing up and try to prolong the aging for as long as possible..but ALAS! time doesn't stop does it?

Shit..another 15 minutes on a pointless post...could have spent it mugging up classification of angiosperms...time doesn't stop! how could i forget!
thats all fo now

cheers!

HAPPINESS / HIPPINESS

* I don't hate hippies. I just hate their lifestyle. So dont get me wrong. I aint like Cartman (not entirely anyways) :-D *

I think human nature includes some of the instincts of the basic "hippie" that u see these days. I experienced one recently. Now imagine some miserable lunatic ravaging about how another miserable lunatic ran away with his wife. Now hippie philosophy wud force the man to take a knife and decide with a duel to death, who gets the wife (if both die some third guy,hopefully me if the wife's hot, gets the chick). Now what did we learn from this? Nothing...thats the thing about the philosophy..it teaches nothing and is absolutely stupid(and lame too).
But even though we kno that stuffs gonna go real bad..we proceed with shit for "temporary happiness". And that happens especially when ur having a bad time.
now people have a tendency to have more bad time than good. Im not sayin so coz i have been that way. Im saying so coz whiny little freaks of nature keep boring me with their bullshit when something goes bad (not that i pay much attention...but it happens more often than 'happy' discussions)
Point is...happiness cannot be attained thru hippiness. Hope ur getting what i mean. when u kno stuff is So bad that things dont affect you anymore u try and lunge at evry opportunity that could give u a temporary feeling of good. But then ur so blinded by the oh-so-attractive aspects of happiness that u forget the pros and cons of the step ur about to take and then end up being a worse wreck than u cud be other wise (so?? we got the xtra whisky to help us out ryt?....sure u do...remind me when u manage a bottle every other day..)
Now i managed to come out of my bummer easy coz im a severely mutated bugger. But for normal and decent folk who are unsuspecting of the crap that cud happen to them, it becomes pure torture(i still remember about the drama that used to happen in school coz of this kinda shit.."those were (not) the days").
A good friend of mine once told me that "experince cannot be passed on". And trust me. He was right. I mean..our folks KNOW wats right and wats wrong to a certain extent. But we still wanna try out stuff (and get screwed).
Well...thing is..if experience COULD be passed on, the world would have been perfect (but unfortunately its not...shit shit shit) However, im not trying to warn people or trying to teach or give advice. Im just giving an explaination for why things go worse when u want em to be better.
I owed one to myself anyway...

Cheers for now,
gotta go and experience some nuclear physix. (!#$%$#!)

I HATE DRAMA !!

There are certain things that i really despise about my generation. Most of em can be extracted from tired old parents of screwed up teenagers. Rest from mentally mutated (hence different) freaks like me. I dont know man. Loads of shit happens around when u are a kid. I'm talking about teenagers. Troubled, hyper, pressured, dumb, and totally freaked out ones (which are a majority in the present scenario) You know....high school kinda life and even few yrs of ur college life. Full of stuff that u dnt expect to happen. And missing loads of stuff u expect to happen. Point is, that there are definitely loads of defects in our personalities. Even tho its a part of growing up theres a limit to which u can deviate from what u are meant to be. Anyway. U still wont get what im talking about coz im trying not to be too crude. But leaving aside all the nonsense talk i think i'll cut the crap and let u kno what im really heading at. I'm talking about the drama involved in living thru the most impressionable time of ur life. I'm talking about all the insanity that u are forced to dwell thru out of circumstances or ur own ass licking stupid brainless thinking. What i mean is, people love to talk. And they love to talk about other people. Thats where it all starts. "Ooh..she's SOO not good looking". Listen mate. That aint really ur problem. She aint a goblin sucking moster whose gonna bite ur ass off. Stop being paranoid (read stupid). Point is...people talk. U hear em talking. And then u feel like changing what u really are, tryna live up to their expectations in the stupidest ways possible. Then where did this superbly entertaining habit of talking about shit that doesn't really matter come from. Shit...its the same old human nature thingy. OMFG... Influenced by countless mindless flicks produced by the so called most succesful film industry in the world(dont be amazed..it IS bollywood...but i'll leave indian cinema and criticism to another post), the 'mordern' crowd likes to turn the reel life into real life. 'HOW interesting that she got her navel pierced...she's gonna be SO popular'. Now look here one second. No offense but its when u hear shit like this u lose control. I mean. COME ON! if navel piercings were the key secret to popularity u'd have every wannabe on the face of the earth wanting to stick pins into their bellybuttons! Ooh looky looky...he looked at her like that..they will go out now...oooh.... Fuck u man..the chick is hot...he's a guy..what do u xpect him to do? turn gay? Its hormoes baby! Jeez...why dont people understand? Taking more interest in what the other guy is doin will NOT pay off. Trust me. I'm definitely making a decent point here. "he did that u know!"...."she said this"..."she is such a @!#$@!"..."omg did u kno what he said to her 3rd week of last june?" What the HELL is wrong with you people?? ...MAN...i could scream coz of this...how is it possible to keep so much bullshit in ur head? By the looks of it..sure seems possible to me. Now some people may find this a little offensive coz they might think it mayb directed at them. Let me straighten it out. YES u freakin pieces of shit it IS directed at u. Watcha gonna do about it morons? Its my blog...i get to write whatever i want. SCREW YOU!! Some people may call me a sexist coz they think im talkin just about girls. Believe me mate. I've seen guys indulging in kitchen politics as well(love the phrase don't u?). Heck...its one of those things that make me develope homicidal tendencies at times. a couple of yrs ago i had never heard of guys bitchin about guys...never saw guys crying about how some chik "broke his heart"(dude...she didnt like ur face..get over it..or try harder...feelin bad is ok..but is it necessary to fuckin' cry over it??) But now i have. Now im gonna put this out for any guy as sensible as me...bros before hoes ryt? HELL YEAH..thas the way it should be. It gets worse man. When some guys get desperate they try and "satisfy" their "hunger for romance" by watchin gay movies about gay people doin gay things. Snap out of it already!!...its a big bad world out there!! "War of the Worlds" is probably gonna teach you more about survival then "pretty woman" where a guy is ready to dedicate the rest of his life to some female whose slept wid over a dozen guys and has probably NO sense of morality. Now SHIT!!! Who finds stuff like that entertaining? Alryt...i can understand chix goin for that shit(they have that manufacturing defect) but guys??... Anyway. Point is that because of unwanted elements in our lifestyle and society a lot of 'drama' is involved in a lot of lives. Not good man. not good at all. Get away from complicated matters. Stuff is complicated enuff with wars and crisis situations in different parts of the world. Think about all that..think about ur family dammit. Coz when u get drunk and crash ur car coz ur gf/bf ditched u and land up in jail.. ur pops the only one whose got ur back! ;-)

Notable Names @#$*#^%!

My aunt once went to this well renowned guy for a haircut and spent over 4 grand on it. Me mum got the same done for less than a grand by some guy whose got a setup near my place. Now difference is. My mum went to a barber. Me aunt went to a hair stylist.
Now this is the kinda stuff that really irritates me. You see, the thing about people these days is that the are too worried about what people mighit think of what they do. For example i met this rich 'agriculturist' from the north a few weeks ago. now come on. He's just a farmer (well educated and well spoken tho) Thing is- evryone wants to be popular these days. No boundaries separating different professionals Its all about comparison. its all about pay scale. A bunch of people with similar ranks in there respected professions hangout together, don't they? But then they wudnt want to be called by something that cud reduce their expected value. Problem is. No one understands that we are mature. We KNOW how to treat everyone with respect. So why hide behind fake personifications? Next thing u kno...my gardener wud call him self a bloody lawn stylist. every barber who sits under the tree wud call himself a hair stylist...every cobbler wud suddenly become a shoe stylist..every cook will become food stylist. Jesus Christ...adding a 'stylist' to what u do isn't gonna change what u do. So wats wrong wid keeping the original name and being proud of what u do rather than being in fear of lack of respect?
My mom works at a job consultancy. Now her clients are all sorts of high and low profile companies asking her for people for positions of a "personal attending executive" (its a personal assistant for christ sake), a "front desk executive" (wats wrong with being called a receptioninst dammit?), a "security executive" (they want a freakin watchman..hello??). Now stylist and executive are simply a couple of words to lure people into believing that u are some kinda big shots. I aint got anything against ur profession mate. It aint ur fault it turns out this way. Its just that the employers make ya believe that. Come on! The world isnt stupid (atleast not any more). hello?? u getting me?
Don't go on thinking i have developed some kinda hatred for these people. Aw come on! I couldn't do that! I'm almost INCAPABLE of doing something like that. U see...im NOT a hate monger. And definitely not a hate stylist or hate executive. :-D

The Coin vs The Kwan

I remember watchin this pretty cool flick called 'jerry maguire'. (ooh..like we dnt remember about the Oscar nominated award winning TOM CRUISE flick) Anyway...getting to the point. There was this bone headed football dude who said all sorts of garb thru out the movie. But then there was this classy ideal that he spoke of (too bad i cant make fun of him the way i wanted to now). He said something about other players having the 'coin' but not the 'kwan'. Its brilliant man. Its like, the fundamental choice u gotta make. an extreme decision thats gonna control ur lifestyle till ya die. loads and loadsa cash (to b spent on innumerable beers and other shit...schweeeet...) OR fame, honor, respect (yea..and cash too) At one point of time..it luks like an easy one. KWAN of course!! fame honour and the third word i've never heard of too!(and the cash) Whoa man...how cool is that? Hold it freaks coz it gets more complex. I mean. I spend the entire day these days working my ass off hoping its gonna pay one day and i do it for the KWAN. And i get frustrated when i get the "its not that easy son" sign from wats around. Get my point? Thing is...its gotta be worked for. I mean. Stuff cud be done in a lot more easy and compromising way but when u do it with ur heart and put all the sweat and blood u cud possibly put into it without compromising on anything. It gets u the kwan. (Aw come on man...its not like u HAFTA Do stuff that way. get a life. things cud be easier) I say.. OYE, BITCH! take a luk around. Still havnt got ur lameass priorities right have you? Kwan is not just the feeling man. Its the goddamn satisfaction part. U wrk for smthn u get somethin. And they'd better be the same bloody thing. If they are. Its kwan for u baby.. Say..some unemployed whimp with a billion bucks against a Dj with less than half the money (mind u thats loads tho...hehehe)...obvious innit...its the KWAN bitch! HAH! run three miles to get to ur dads office to deliver him his birthday gift. Screw public transport..u spent that money on the present didnt u?. thats kwan bitch! Reject a mediocre offer and work for better stuff even if it takes time, energy and resources and then achieve. Thats kwan for u bitch! Bad portrait..never mind put it up. Who cares? well...screw u, u miserable asswipe. get another one made. Its for the kwan baby... FOR THE KWAN. Oh god..life sucks...things are so bad!!...what shud i do!...pity me! i need sympathy! get a life u prick. make it better on ur own. LIVE FOR THE KWAN. u get into shit. come out on ur own. THATS kwan. u need help take it. u dnt...then DON'T...making it easier doesn't make it better...WHY? coz there aint no kwan. OMG! i dropped chocolate on my brand new reebok sweatshirt! (bought from a fake store in palika..)what am i going to do!...lick it off...dip it in chocolate...show it off...'i ate chocolate today'. fuck u. Why care about what some cheapskate with a cheap cigarette on the corner thinks?. rest of the people aint got time to care. Ur pals..ain't GONNA care. so WHY give a shit. It aint embarrassing. U live it..the jovial part gets u the kwan... Live it for the honor. Live it for the respect. Show me the money bitch. I want cash too!. Hell yeah...ur gonna get it all. Ur gonna GET the kwan!!